Well it's Wednesday and of course time is flying. Still so many people to see and things & action items on my every growing list to get finalized. But my energy has risen to meet my needs. THANK GOD!!! I have been so stressed. I have been resting and sleeping a lot over the last few days and only tackling things in short bursts. I'm very anxious and excited that it is so very close now and really want to Hug my daughter and be close to her. Soon very, very soon now. Just 4 more sleeps. YAHOO. Later today I will see the two most wonderful people and their new home. There have been many times scheduled to accomplish this but all have been cancelled due to our various Chronic Illnesses. But today nothing is going to get in our way. I have come to love Rico and Mary very much. They epitomise such love and respect for each other and all others their paths cross. I will unfortunately miss their Spring wedding but I'm sure they will keep me updated and send me lots of pictures They have promised me of this! Her first wedding and his second. Both are my age and it's so beautiful to see their deep love and respect.
Today, Thursday, started later than I needed it too by Skyping with Kris for the last time from this place. Although extremely busy getting ready for her son's 8th Birthday she made the time for me which I greatly appreciated. I needed to see her calming face to calm and centre myself. It was a nice session with her and I let her know and understand of how important it was for me. We talked for about an hour while she was very busy making special cookies for the party on Saturday She's in a good place, I'm in a good place and that is so wonderful and very comforting to me
I just received a beautiful letter of recommendation from a former Mayor here. We got to know each other while serving on the Housing Board and much more while I worked on her bid to become mayor during the Elections this past fall. A wonderful, intelligent caring woman who has dedicated her time to all that I love.
Oh God another glitch has arisen wrt the move portion to my Daughters place. This is something that I know can be worked out but am awaiting for my Brother to call me back and figure out how to resolve yet another problem that needs my attention to get solved. Every day new and unexpected hurdles. I'm so tired and so physically depleting I just hope I can stay on the path to keep going until I get dumped in my room and just let it all go. I'm sure floods of tears, floods of anxiety waves, tons of fear and anger will surely hit me once there but at least I'll be there and can finally let it all come out of me as I need. Phew so much has passed but so much still to come and experience. No wonder I'm so scared. But it is all so necessary to experience and live through before putting it all behind me. I can't wait for that day to come. I CAN NOT WAIT FOR ALL THIS STRESS TO BE BEHIND ME!!
I became so frazzled and was closing down so much I could not think, make any decisions basically emotionally and physically parralized but shit had to get done and get done today. I called Sue and asked her if she could come and help me like she has been doing for me. She brought back my laundry and tooked more to do for me. She got here, got my food, made me take my insulin and went through all the stuff going to Kelsey. We took much out for give away, trashed much and she is taking all my kitchen stuff home with her. We went through all my closets to ensure all was clearly organized and ready to go. put everything where it needs to be and packed by the movers. In other words we got a lot done. She will come back after I take her to dinner tomorrow night to help me pack and get organized with everything I need to take in the car. Helped me make a decision to buy a new covered litter box and to through out the other one Monday morning before we leave. OMG she is such a living Angel and is working so very hard to ensure I'm ready. we Garbage everything in my fridge that she didn't want and will wipe all the drawers, fridge, freezer tomorrow night with me to get it all done.
I am now totally done for the night. I can hardly move of think clearly and need to get myself together enough tonight so I can face the very busy day tomorrow. Please pray for me that I'll get through tomorrow without again collapsing in exhaustion and frustration and fear. I know I need every kind of help I can get. Wish me luck!!!!
No comments:
Post a Comment