Sept.13/13 See My Therapist and have lots to discuss today

up at 6am, cloudy windy and cold
Set msg to kris to have a good day
Wrote up all that I need to talk about today LOTS
Waiting for disability bus coming at 10am
Therapist at 11 and volunteering at 12:30
had lots to talk about with Margo talked about the following:
- Planning trip to Kris's place in states
- about my asking Kris if she would make love to me, me to her, that  Kris knows why I want to do this
- Margo understands why I need this but is fearful how it will affect me, fearful of me not being able to handle this, the emotions and feelings I would have to deal with after the facy
- she feels in still in love with Kris and not being truthfully and totally honest with myself
- we talked it through for a good long while within the shortness of the time I had with her
- I said a lot could happen within the next 7 or 8 months and I would have time to really check my understanding of it all
- Talked of my fears for my brothers health, his not giving me his blessings for planning this, how I kept myself calm and level headed during the very emotionally charged talk with him and all his tears
- my parents reactions when the time comes for me to tell them of my plans
- my being firm that if I can afford this that I need a vacation just for me with my friend
- a shitload of other stuff
- her seeing me handling this without freaking out, with calmness and and firmness
- of my plans to help my parents and see them much more than while my brother and his wife travel away for the next couple of weeks

I've promised myself that I can and will do more than any of them expect of me. I have to do this not only for them but for myself as well

I am so blessedly grateful for all that Margo has been for me on this Journey of self discovery and stability, She's taken me from total despair and internal grief and depression to a person that now see's things wholely differently along with my growth in my spiritual being. Only have a few more appointments with Margo but she will be deep within my heart and soul for the rest of my life. And So It Is .....