A bloody early start this morning. Up at 5am. This means a very long day for me. I really hope I will be able to make it through my hospital shift the afternoon. I had an appointment with Margo today and we talked about Kris and That, once again I've curtailed my contact with her. She, like my kids, do not have a lot of faith in may declarations. However, different from all other times, I have a lot more things arranged to occupy my time. Volunteering 2 shifts a week, LGBT coffee/chat on Wednesday evenings, volunteer committees. I am also looking for other things I can do. So I am determined to only minimal contact via brief notes occasionally. I have faith in myself and will have to earn the faith from family and friends.
We spent the majority of the hour discussing the upcoming Therapy. She stressed that I must constantly be aware of not trying to take control by talking to much. To be as respectful of others in the group. Hear not just listen to others and to try to be present for all sessions. I needed this reinforcement from Margo and she gave me a sheet to commit to my memory to reassure that I will follow what I need to do in order to get the best benefits as possible from this type of therapy. I will do whatever I need to do to ensure success. I want success and I want to relearn and commit to making the changes that I need to change to my personality. I now know precisely what I do, I now need to alter my behaviours to the personality that I've always wanted and to be able to control my erratic emotional extremes to find the midpoint that will be more acceptable and liked by family, old friends and new friends that cross my journey. I am both excited and very hopeful that with the proper guidance I will succeed and prosper.
I volunteered until 3pm and it was steady and manageable this afternoon. I love chatting with the many seniors and others that pass through the department. I really enjoy volunteering with this Department. It's really good for me.
\Nothing at all happening for me this weekend but that's OK with me. I'm really tired and feel I need this alone time. I will keep in touch with family throughout the weekend and not isolate myself. I still have quite a bit left of the book I'm reading and that is good. Also, I discovered an on-line calendar that I think will work for me to keep proper tack of all the many various appointments I have between Doctors, Clinics, work and various other things I need to keep careful check on. I have lacked doing this faithfully with the old system that worked so well in the past. I think I just got tired of all the places I was e cording things. This new system is much more streamlined, simple, printable and easy to use.
I was grateful for my councillor and her directness with me today. Very grateful that I managed to stay the course working this afternoon. I also very grateful that my family so supportive of my plans with regard to counceling and what I working towards achieving
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