arrrrhhhhh I've hit a sudden low tonight and am both pissed off and upset by this. The day was ok. Volunteering was ok, not very busy but steady. Didn't do much this morning before heading out. This evening was weepy for me but chatted with Kelsey briefly which was nice and Tobie on FB for a moment. Chatted with Carm but not very good conversation as she told me some things she didn't tell me before about skates she had which turned into money discussion. She just doesn't get it about my financial situation. And I'm still feeling uneasy about last night at her place with Katie. I came home with a feeling of emptiness and detachment. I'm sure this is also part of the reason why I'm down tonight along with several other reasons. Was talking with Kris about our feelings being so similar but she had to take Jack to bed. Said she'd try to stay awake and come back to chat some more but I don't really think she'll be able to do that. She usually falls asleep with Jack because she won't let him stay in his bed after story time. A situation that she has to come to terms with on her own. He is almost 7 now and is of the age that she needs to leave his room after story time for him to get use to it. Anyway, I know I'll be ok just sad this evening. Tomorrow I want to go to the bank, get some money out and get mom a Card and Birthday present for her soon to be 82 Birthday next week. My 54th birthday is the day before hers and I am looking forward to opening the gifts the girls send me at Xmas time.
I'm struggling with my gratitude list tonight but I am grateful for my kids and grateful to Kris and her solid friendship with me. I don't know if I can or really want to remain friends with Carm though. She has a life appropriate for her young age and not appropriate for a middle aged, chronically ill & emotionally unstable woman like me.
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