From previous postings I've talked about depression or I've written what's happening to me when cought in the midst of mild or very recently horrible episodes. I thank my God for her helping me to be guided towards the much needed assistance that is sometimes damned close to saving my life. I have not sunk to precipice for many years now BUT with chronic depression it never is far away from being possible again. One learns warning signs and techniques to catch things before one reached or passes the point of no return. Dramatic sounding? You bet your ass. One can only truely appreciate what happens when they've either experienced similar experiences or live through anothers pain in attempts to support the sufferer. I've still in my most recent trauma but know I'm heading in the right direction because, first I made a desparate call for help to an old friend. She got me to call the crisis hotline and did not let me drop our connection until she could confirm that I had reached a live person at the crisis centre. From the couple of hours on the phone with the Crisis councellor she'd managed to calm me down enough so I could go to bed. She also made me promise to contact my Doctor the next day who's Nurse convinced me to go to the Hospital Emergency to talk with another live crisis councellor which I did. Another 2-3 hours later we had a plan of action in place which I'm now following until I can see a more permanent councellor to work on my problems. Earliest apt is not for 3 weeks but because I now have a plan in place of what I need to do in the meantime I know I'm going to alright. I also know exactly what to do if my mood begins to crash again....The relief I feel now compared to this time yesterday is so much lighter. Only one bought of brief tears compared to hours and hours over the last 2-3 days. Coming out of a depressive state is almost indescribable. It's like the sun has come out and filling you with such warmth and peace. Starting to be able to do simple chores or even just getting out of your nite clothes, showering, eating, tidying up pretty much anything is almost beyond ones abilities.....The main thing at this point is I know I did the right things and got the right help and my path is headed in the the best possible direction to put this behind me in time.....deana I'm proud of you. This was the worst episode in quite a long time and you soldiered thru the pain to get your help in place. Your family is proud how things have happened and are resting a little easier the ever before because you've taken the responsibility on, not coward and hid, dealt with it for it is...I AM VERY PROUD, I've never dealt with this level of responsibility totally myself meaning not leaning on my family.......A Real good feeling is with me at this moment. I'mgoing to let myself enjoy it for this evening.........A DESERVED PAT ON MY BACK .....
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