Up really early since I could not lay in Bed any longer. However, it is only 12:30 and I've actually managed to get a lot done and am keeping busy. I've already done my Laundry and put it all away. I've Watched a wonderful CSL service which always fills me with inspiration and peace. Nothing on this afternoon and it's really cloudy and windy so I guess I won't be heading out anywhere and that concerns me a little but will do whatever I need to do to stay positive.
I've been thinking a lot about kris today and as soon as I'm Idle thoughts of her and feelings of missing her are strong. I want to talk with her, see her, hear about what her week has been like but I know I can't for a long time to come. I have to get my life in order, thi.ngs in perspective and reach the point of acceptance. These thoughts make me sad and I don't want to be sad over her any more. I'll just have to wait and see what the day puts before me. I sent her an email the other day asking if she is or isn't going to send me the Meditation CD's or the Masturbation Vibrator that I've wanted for quite some time now. She hasn't replied which to me could mean she's not seen the email or has chosen not to reply because she has chosen not to send them. This is OK, at least I know what's what but I'm sad since I really wanted these items. It's out of my control so I must let it go.
Another non eventful evening coming up so will just suck it up and get through it as best I can and stay happy with myself and my life. It is a beautiful life I have and I mustn't ever let myself forget this but it is god damned loney without Kris to talk to and bounce stuff off of. I miss that. There really is not much of a reason to stay logged on except to talk with my Kids but they have busy lives as well. I seem to be the only lonely soul with nothing much going on. Shit but it is what it is.
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