Woke up refreshed and happy this morning. I had a very good discussion on FB last night with Kris. After deciding that what I needed to tell her I decided that the best way to do it was on FB then I sent her a msg requesting she read it so we could talk later in the evening. She responded to me quite quickly and the ensuing talk was very good and stress relieving for me. We both talked very openly and frankly and although she could not give me a definitive answer to what I'd asked, she did tell me that she could not say yes or no. She didn't shut me down or laugh at me. She said she kind of expected what was coming and would never abandon our friendship. We talked at some length and she totally understands why I want this. All is good with where things stand now and the relief from the weight of all the stress has lifted, thank God! We talked of many other things and will soon be sending me copies of her meditation CD's I request from her. She will also sending something I've asked for as well at the same time. I'm excited to receive both things and if all goes well I should get them sometime late next week.
Today, I decided to make a statement I've wanted to for a very long time. Another friend from Ottawa sent me a really nice leather black thin tie. Although I've worn a tie once before in public it was at a LGBT Xmas Dance a bunch of years ago. Today I felt strong enough to wear this new one to work volunteering up at the Hospital. A totally heterosexual place. I wasn't too sure I could keep my courage up but I did and wore it all day. This had so much more meaning to me than just wearing a tie. The joy I felt and the boost to my self-esteem immeasurable. I accomplished something I've wanted to do since I was just a kid. I'm unconventional in many things but by wearing this means so very much more me and where I did it. I live in a somewhat 'red neck', much older city with a much older old school population. I am extremely happy and content for being able to do what I finally did and will have absolutely no difficulties in future clothing decisions.
Kris is finally moving to her new home tonight and has requested to do this alone without interruption. I know she needs solitude to deal with all the mixed emotions she's going through and so totally agree with her decisions. I've promised that I will not send her anything tonight and not tomorrow or Sunday and told her to send a msg to me when she feels ready to talk with me.
I am grateful to the Universe in helping guide me to deal with the issues of yesterday and for giving me the courage to make my statement today. I'm grateful to the gloriously sunny cool day and the beauty of the flowers and shrubs still in bloom.
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