Sept.9/13 My Brother is In Pain

I told my brother last night that I'm starting to plan a trip to the states in the Spring to see Kris and to ask him to be my garenter for my passport Application. This morning I got a call from him and he wanted to come over right away to talk to me. I knew it had to have something to do with this trip. Well he came over and I stayed very calm and let him speak. He doesn't want me to go. He is worried should I get confused or sick. He doesn't think I would qualify for travel insurance. He is scared if I persue this very important trip for me. He is losing weight and getting sicker with all his responsibilities for me and mom and dad. He can't cope and knows that mom and dad are going to need more and more help with as they are getting so much older. I'm am scared for him. I think he is really heading for a breakdown with all of these pressures on him. His marriage is also in some trouble over these issues with us. I don't care about my sister in law but I do care about my brother and his well being. She's a selfish bitch and always has been. He could cope with her for the 30 years without us near her but since we've moved here she's really also applying her bitchiness against him. I told my brother I'm only just starting to research the possibility of the trip but also I told him that I also have a long life to live and need to do certain things to give my life some meaning as well. I could just give in to my needs and say I won't go but that's not right either. I'm hurting for my brothers pain. He cried and cried here this morning and that breaks my heart so badly. He is flat out against me doing this and will not sign my passport application. I will quietly find another person and still go forward with applying because it is the best form of Identification in Canada and a backup for what identification I already have. I'm sure this will continue over the next few months but hopefully it will get better for my brother.  He is also very worried at how much this would put more stress on my parents with me doing this. I've never been able to outlive my past issues with either them or my brother and that also hurts me continuously. I am stressed with all this but I am not bothered by it and will not let it take me down emotionally.