Oct.06/13 Another Day of Deep Thinking

I am suffering in a way that I don't like. Way too much thinking time and Alone time. Showers and Thunder showers forecast for the whole damned day with no one to talk with. A scary combination to me. I'm OK really but I just don't know what to do to help pass this time. I'm smoking constantly, even inside my apartment which I've never done before here. I need to talk with someone but no one is available. All my family is busy and I don't want to burden my parents. There is no friend to talk with that could help me to keep moving forward. I'm waiting for my CSL service to begin. I know that will help me a lot. I love watching those services but really wish I could actually be there to experience being with and talking with others the joy and happiness I feel.

Started to watch CSL but the streaming was cutting in and out. There was just to much lost so disconnected. I was disappointed but will wait until the recording is put up later and will watch it then. By 5pm still no copy posted of this mornings CSL. I do hope they get posted as I believe it will be good for me to watch it.

The afternoon slowly slipped by and the only thing that I managed was continued dozing and watching a movie. Very boring but it rained all afternoon so not much else to do. Don't expect anything to be different this evening but maybe something might come up later. Will just have to wait and see.

Well something did come up. I sent kris a quick msg and she happened to be on FB at the time so replied within 20 mins or so. I decided to call her and we talked about a lot of stuff. I will more than likely call her again next weekend but do expect to be quite busy with my daughter being her on Fri/Sat. I'll just have to see how I'm feeling. But I am ok with talking to her tonight and am not going to beat myself up over it. I really did need to talk with a very good friend and I have missed talking to her. It just will not be every day but maybe once a week as I had once wanted to do a long time ago but didn't insist that we really should do it that way.