I slept really well last night once I finally realized I hadn't taken my night medications. Once I did that and got another blanket to warm me up, poof, off I went to lala land. I got up a little after 9am which is a much more respectable time for me. Got my morning chores done and settled in front of the boob tube. Later in the morning I chatted with Kris and tried to help her work though some very difficult stuff that's she needing to face. I hope I've helped her at least a little. I know she appreciates me and my experiences with some of the things she's facing. She also knows that she too is helping me along my own journey. She is the friend, finally, that I know I need and want. It's the friendship that I've worked so hard to have but let so much bullshit get in my way. I am so thankful to this friend for never leaving me but also letting me come to where I am on my own. My gratitude overwhelms me at times and suddenly my silent tears flow freely and peacefully. How can you express this new found love for a friend? The only way I know how is to be there for her when she needs an ear but not be forceful with my replies to her. I'm learning how to successfully do this but I still have a long way to go.
My family in Ottawa had a really nice dinner tonight with their dad. This is such a wonderful thing for Paul and I am so happy for him. I guess it's back to work or school for them tomorrow. I wish I could hold a job but know that will never happen but I'm totally ok with this as I know I am so much stronger emotionally and that makes me really smile and be happy.
When kris manages to get through this latest low period for her I've mentioned to her that I want to share something that's been coming up in my thoughts. I need her friendship and understanding again but I'm not festering about it or really worried but I know I can trust her with anything and she's always very honest and sincere with me. A quality of character that I cherish about her.
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