Got up a little after 6am with anticipation to see how the day will unfold for me. I posted some pictures with inspirational sayings to my kids and a new budding friend. There's a lite dusting of snow and in the trees. It's quite nice to see the forest that surrounds part of my home. I guess I'll really have to put my Scooter inside my apartment now which I really don't want to do but have too. I'll survive this inconvenience but it is what it is with winter definitely on the doorstep. I'm happy and content with my life and refuse to let winter get me down this year.
I headed off to the hospital about 11:40 via the disability bus, signed in and headed straight over to get my Annual Flu shot. Only hurt a little. I've had some pretty brutal shots in the past and am always a little nervous beforehand. Then it was off to Volunteer from 1-1:45 to help over the busy period. Finally I met with Margo and signed all the papers needed to enter my contract with her and the Group Therapy which starts next Tuesday morning and go through a questionnaire she needed t complete with me about things surrounding suicidal ideology in my past and now. It took awhile to complete with her and I was happy when it was over as it was making me think about some things I really do not want to think about anymore. But it was also a really good barometer to see just how amazingly far I've come this past year.
Finally we had about 10 minutes left to discuss a couple of things I wanted to talk about with her. It was a really good 10 minutes of really good interaction between us. Told her how things have been with Kris and my friendship and how good I feel about the lessening communication and how empowered I'm feeling with my abilities in handling it all. No tears, no anxiety, no stress. Yes I miss talking with her but we've only talked once on the phone last week and I'm fine with that. Told her she isn't using Facebook, no Skype and no replies to emails that I've send which I do not ask nor expect replies from. I'm moving on and someday we might be able to resume a greatly reduced and normal friendship. but not before she is fully divorced and far away from all the stresses within her own life. Mine is moving nicely forward and I am happy and grateful for the direction I'm headed.
We talked about who might be in the group ie: ages. She said all ages both younger, the same or older than me which made me feel better. I expressed my fears again about past behaviours creeping up but was reassured that This will be monitored by the Councelors and myself to be aware of myself at all times. She reinforced the need for me to stay in the moment and stay vigilent about being aware and attentive to others when they are talking. Not to wander with my eyes or my body movements. All things we've talked a lot about so I feel I am prepared to start the Journey and not to expect the therapists or others to help me learn as I am the only person than can help me and choose to be ready to affect changes, much needed changes, in my life. I've learned so very much from Margo and am ready to learn so much more from participating whole heartedly in this program.
My new friend is coming to pick me up around 6:00 - 6:30 and we decide what we want to do when she gets here. I'm looking forward to meeting her and having an enjoyable hour or 2 this evening.
Had a very nice evening with my new friend. We went out for pizza then came back to my place had a nice evening here. Unfortuneately I really screwed up by taking to much insulin for what I ate and crashed pretty badly. This had not happened for a long time and I was not prepared. I didn't have enough OJ on hand and she went to the store and got me some more. She left for home about 11pm and maybe we'll go to a Junior A Hockey game sometime this winter together. It was a really nice and easy evening and I really enjoyed it a lot. It's been a long time coming for me and I really hope a nice friendship comes of it over time Life is quite good and I look forward to keeping it this way.
Right now I'm full of gratitude for a budding new friendship. For a really good session with Margo and everything that is happening in my life today. Oh, when I got home there was even a brief note from Kris acknowledging my note to here regarding all the miracles that have been happening to me over the last little while. She looks forward to hearing about them sometime soon. Just the cherry atop the cake of a great day today..
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