Yesturday was one full of anxiety and lonelyness. The Christmas blues are taking up a lot of my energies and I don't like it. I chatted with Kris a bit in the morning and Carm as well. I was very anxious about the conversation I was going to have with Carm when she actually came over. Carm showed up about 5:30 and I proceeded to tell her all that was happening with me and about my feelings towards her. She listened and we talked about a lot of stuff through out. She was as understanding as she could be and although I had tears crop up occasionally and could finally look her straight in the eyes all was good. We talked a lot about her stuff and my stuff and it all ended in a good place. After initial debating about heading home she decided to go out for nachos at a local Jazz pub downtown. I finally had that drink I was wishing for a few days ago and Carm stuck with Cranberry Juice as she was the driver. We stayed for a set then she dropped me off at home and she headed back out of town. She weant to her friends for a few hours an finally made it home to her place. I spent a couple of hours Skyping with Kris last night and she really helped me to get a grip on all the emotions I was feeling about this Christmas season. She talked about her issues with Brian and all the Bullshit he's still pulling on her. I then finally called it a night and went to bed to read before lights out.
This morning woke up and made some decisions for my day. I was and still am happy about where the mind is today.
I actually caught my CSL service this morning. It was touch and go as to whether or not they would be able to brodcast. Have of Toronto was without power this morning and the city was paralized by all the freezing rain from the night before. Rev.Jonathon made it there because he only lives a few blocks away. Miraculously they had power so went ahead. Many of the band, the staff and members were not able to drive in nor did most not have power either. So the service was conducted on the fly and it was really good, inspirational, funny and a bit crazy but they did it and I was so very grateful for their efforts and the beautiful service Jonathan gave. I was very blessed to be a part of it from such a long distance and will email it to Kris and maybe Carm once The copy is posted.
I decided to go visit mom and dad and had a nice short visit. A little over an hour. Mom gave me some magazines to bring home to read later. We talked about a lot of different things and what I'm going through which was good to share with her. Dad was in his den watching TV so we stayed in the living room so as to not diesturb him. They both seem to be well and are looking forward to Christmas at glens. The weather has been really bad in Toronto and is not great here. This might cause problems for the kids to make it home tomorrow. I sure hope not but tis the time of year. Will just have to play it by ear. Watching TV for a bit and plan to listen to some of Kris's music CD's and do a meditation today/tonight sometime.
Carm is incomunicado today as they have lost inteernet service out where she lives and Kris and Jack are visiting the neighbour and her boys. I hope it all goes well because if all works out both Kris and Jack will be very happy to make new friends of their neighbors. I`m sure she`ll let me know when she has a moment to tell me how it all went.
So am now stuck in the hourse for the next few days but am feeling much better about it all today than I was yesterday.
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