Well Thursday nights orientation in the pouring rain with bone chilling cold and winds was very hard on my body. I finally got registered, banded and some logistics. I was there for about 2 hours going through long lineups and talking excitedly with many strangers. You could feel the excitement for the weekend building all around. I didn't eat much all day and had to head home missing the 'free' food they were offering. A very long cold agonising trip home. I had a very bad night from the chills I couldn't get rid of. Was up with major stomach/bowl issues so basically didn't get any sleep that night. I felt really sickly all day but headed out for my shift. I screwed up the time if was to start so actually started at 4pm then stayed for the 6pm shift. I had a really hard time with my scooter being in the way and not being able to stand on and due the duties I needed to do. I really felt isolated, confused and generally not doing my responsibilities very well. I finally broke down and had to leave about 7:30pm. Cried most of the way home, was freezing cold and really down on myself. When I got home called into Volunteer Co-ordinator to discuss my problems but she had to cut me off due to a situation needing her immediate attention. So I totally emotionally fell apart thinking my whole dream of working and enjoying the festival had come to a crashing halt
I was able to contact both my daughters. One via phone call and the other over Facebook. My daughter was able to calm me somewhat and I accepted my decision to back out of the rest of my obligations but shortly after this Carol called me back and we had a really good talk and figured out how I will be able to do something but leave the Front gates
So, she told me not to come if I still was sickly on saterday but in the late afternoon I decided to cab it down. It was pouring buckets and the paths were giant mud puddles. I stayed in the command trailor and met so many interesting people working that post. All volunteers of course. Lots of great talk. One faboulous woman decided to take me through all the Artists with a wheelchair but we very quickly realized that sitting in the chair was not feasible. It kept sinking in the much so we worked out another way. We both pushed the chair through the mud and rain. Bought some great pieces of wrist jewelry and a necklace all leather. I also talked to many Artisans deep into asking questions about where they came from and their Artistic backgrounds. All fascinating and wonderful. Once back at command post they were closing that trailer down for the night so arranged to return Sunday for around 1pm. I checked out the General store tent, made contact with my brother to meet me there so I could buy a black 2014 t-shirt with all performers listed on the back and the Emblem of the Festival on the front. I love it and wear it proudly. Had to miss Buffy St.Marie that night which I was told was absolutely fantastic. Oh well.
Sunday turned out to be great. I was stationed all day and evening on security that was off limits to the public. The musician arrival and departure gate behind the stage. What a cool place to be. Talked with many musicians, the public that had passes that allowed them to be in that area and worked with a lot of volunteers. Even was recorded by www.owensoundhub.org which let me express my deepest gratitude for what was done for me to help me experience all of the festival. I volunteered for 10 hours that day and got to see several great stage performances. Valdy and the shows ending on stage with all the volunteers and the people who put the festival on. We all sang with Valdy and several other performers. What an excillerating time. I was so happy to be a part of something so big and wild. I will never ever forget it. I scooted home and finally walked into my apartment at 1am.
Of course Monday was a total write off of exhaustion and peace and quiet. Got several house maintenance crap done but didn't push myself. I didn't even wake up until 12 noon.
Today, Tuesday, I had to be at the hospital for 10am Group therapy. Downtown after that to replenish some funds. Grocery shop then back by 3pm to meet my cleaning lady, Toni. Slowly getting everything back to where they should be and am now running out of steam.
I kind of sent an email expressing deep concern to Kris this afternoon regarding what's happening 20 minutes from her home since the killing of the young man a week ago that has sparked such civil unrest that the world is following. I was concerned for their safety. I don't expect any reply but just wanted her to know I was thinking about Jack's and her safety. Didn't ask anything else, didn't provide any information as to what's happening in my life either. As it should be. I'm good with this and will again not send her anything from me. I am very proud of myself for sticking to my guns and not trying to draw her back into my life. I am totally good with letting her go from my life and concentrate of what's happening with me and my life.
I have been so blessed by so many people lately that I am so grateful for it all and am at peace within my heart and soul with the path I am on right now. I'm centring myself constantly and am now giving much more thought to beginning to get my meditations back on track too.
That's all I can remember from the last 6 days of my wonderful life.
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