April 7/14 Trying to stay in the day, in the Moments

OK It's been hard but not so hard as to bring me down into the depths of depression. I am just refusing to let myself go there. As always, the last week has been hard but I'm so grateful that I'm staying within the day and more often than not just breathing through the many moments that are often hard to deal with. I have also had very many happy and exciting moments too. It's finding and maintaining a healthy balance each day and letting the small stuff go. Taking on this attitude is really helping me and I so want to hold onto and maintain this working attitude. I am utilizing almost all that I've learned last year and it is so working for me. I'm getting happier as the days pass and the outstanding issues are being dealt with. I know life is good when the attitude is firmly secured within. Some really nice things happened over the Easter Weekend which really made me happy. My brother came to see me as he was in Ottawa for the weekend visiting his wife's family. We got to cover some business and mainly just visited as brother and sister. I loved that, loved having come to my new home and I so enjoyed every minute. He stayed for a good hour and a half and even took me to get some of my addictions (cig's & chocolate) satisfied. My middle child was in town and surprised me by dropping in for the a couple of hours in the afternoon. We talked and talked and laughed lots. Told Tobie that I was considering investigating Medical Marijuana to help with my MS. We had a really in depth discussion around this and also told her that I'm ready to quite smoking cigarettes and will be meeting with my GP to find the right smoking cessation program that supplies the patches. I will also talk to my GP about the medical Marijuana and how to begin getting qualified to apply for this. Have chatted via FB with my friend Kria. She has met someone thru a dating service and has told me how she is doing. She has really connected with her and are now officially dating. I'm so very happy for her and am enjoying her joy. This person is nothing like her former girlfriend/lover who so badly hurt Kris over the 2 years relationship. As usual I'm blunt and expressed my hopes that she will let this now supposed friendship fade into her past. It will be interesting to see how this former girlfriend reacts when she finds out that there is a new and fascinating woman in Kris's life. I hope that just maybe the old girlfriend has some sense to pull away but if true to form this won't happen. I am very happy for my friend and know this will be good for her and also good for me. All that I hope for is that our distant friendship stays in tact as it is now but I'm am assuming that our friendship will also fade into both our pasts. This doesn't upset me at all. I know now that I could handle this eventuality should it come to pass. I've had many days of pain and instability. Still have no scoter to get out and about and have been pulling back from interacting much with the older people here. I'm just not wanting to mix with them. Very different feelings than what I had when first living her so many years ago. I'm feeling OK about these decisions I've made. The weather is slowly getting better and I'll be outside a lot once I get my scoter back. I can't wait to bet that independence back. I have been so greatful to my kids and brother for making the time to see me over the Easter weekend. I'm grateful that my Dad has been talking a little more on the phone with me when I call. Of course Mom for just being my Mommy. I love her so much. There is so much gratitude to Kris for sharing he work experiences and her growing relationship. I'm so happy for them in finding each other. It will be interesting for sure to see how it progresses. I wish them lots of luck for a happy and loving journey together.