How Could such a good day follow a very crappy day?

Mother's Day has many meanings for me. This was the first time in a very many years that I could actually spend Mother's day with one of my children. It was a beautiful treat for both Kelsey and I. I gave myself a Mother's day gift of taking my daughter to a play that my oldest friend Charlotte wrote, directed and acted in this afternoon. We both enjoyed the play very much and my daughter got to see the wonderful woman charlotte is and how talented she is. Charlotte and I were the best of friends when we met in Grades 7 and 8 back in the very early 70s. It has been incredible since we reconnected so many years later an resumed the close friendship. Introducing my daughter to this woman was very important to me. As for the trip there and back I had made a pact with myself to not bring up her dad in anyway so that we would really be able to enjoy this time together. And we certainly did!! I had hit a really bad low point yesterday and was succumbing to all my fears about just about everything. The day began with a lot of pain and a heavy cloud hanging over my head and only got much worse as the day progressed. I was so down on myself I passed the day drowning in my own tears. By nightfall I was ready to quit everything, cancel mothers day with my daughter and hide out in my room all alone to conduct a pity party for myself like I use to do so often before. I could not even use my tools that I have been using to keep myself sane and centred. Nothing was working. I was so bad I felt like I was losing my sanity at a rapid pace and wrote my friend Kris a long dissertation about all these fears taking control of me. Bless her heart she skyped me (voice only) and let me vent and cry giving me what I did not want to hear but needed to hear because I trust her so much. After we signed off so she could get to bet and sleep I remembered something that actually made me laugh. I knew it was May 9th all day but did not actually remember the significance the day had once meant to me. That was the day 28urs ago I married Paul. Now after all the bullshit he has pulled on me in the last number of weeks I could really care less if I had anything to do with or see him again. I wish I did not have to but he is the father of my 3 kids so there will be many times in the years to come that our paths will have to cross. I smashed my big toe by pulling a heavy metal door across it, Rocky broke out and took off about a dozen times and the dinner served in the Dinning room was absolute crap just to mention a could of crappy things that happened yesterday. A Day I would just love to blank from the old memory banks. I wonder just how it works that after a day of one crappy thing after another could be followed by a day of beauty and wonder. It surely always amazes me. There was even a beautiful brunch held for all the mothers in the residence for them and their family members at noon today. The food was great, the company happy to share it with their mothers and for me who wished every mom in the place a happy mothers day and I sat with a couple of moms s s who were very confused with it all and just happily chatted and ate with them keeping them calm and not worried. It all was just so lovely for everyone. But tonight I am quite tired and Kelsey and I realized that the couple of hours we were out this afternoon is a good amount of time for me and is all at this point that I can successfully handled. Good knowledge for the both of us when other planned events begin to occur for Kelseys pending marriage. I am am grateful for all 3 of my kids have done for me this weekend in providing me with happiness and wonderful one on one time with each of them. I am so grateful to Kris for helping me get through such a difficult evening last night even though it was her time with her son. And to Sue for being Sue, my friend, my pal and the one I miss so very much. For anyone who might be following my journal Have a wonderful week ahead and NAMASTE