Wed March 27/15 So many balls in the air to jugle!

Kids are very angry with me over what I've done and said on FB. I talked briefly on FB this morning with my younger daughter and could really feel the anger through her words. I will not attempt to contact her again until she is willing and wanting to talk with me. I am full of remorse for what I have done and said publicly via FB but I am NOT upset with what I am attempting to do. I greatly hurt the ones I love so much. I deserve their anger for how I did what I did and taking the punishment for the choices I made in the heat and anger of the moment that my Husband caused me. One of my dearest friends from OS is hurting so badly with the death of her mother. My brother will go to the wake just before the funeral on my behalf Thursday which is a vary nice loving gesture for me. Another of my wonderful friends and her friend from the Disability Advisory committee just told me he will go to the funeral too. I am so happy he will be there for Janis. I have been messaging with a woman via the Dating Service I joined. We have chatted back and forth a bit and I posed the question of the possibility of meeting up for a coffee downtown in the Market area. A wonderful place full of Arts and Crafts with many street performers and lots and lots of flowers for sale. I love the area and have not been there for several years. She replied that she would like that too and we will chat this evening to find a convenient time for both of us. WOW this of course will bring up a flood of anxieties for me as I haven`t done the dating thing in so many years. Certainly not with a woman. I get really nervous and am so afraid of saying the wrong things. I hope with maturity I will do OK and maybe, just maybe it might lead to a friendship. I sure hope so but I know not to rush things and certainly not to be the usual blabber mouth I can be. I will have to rely on what I`ve learned and how to act in a situation like this!!! I wish I could talk to my old therapist about it. She would certainly be able to keep me calm and reassure me that I`ll do just fine. I hope so! This just may be promising for future get a together! The divorce thing has been started and almost put in process. Just need to confirm some details that are needed to proceed. I will be calling my Lawyer`s office tomorrow to get the ball rolling on updating my Will to reflect exactly what I what I want which is to Remove all references to my husband anywhere in the Will. He no longer needs to be in it as I don't have any more trust in him with all that's been happening. The kids are adults now and make their own decisions on how to handle my estate should that need come to pass. I hope not for many years but with chronic health issues I need to have all my ducks lined up should something drastic happen to me. I don't want the Kids to have to worry about anything upon my passing. A little piece of good news arrived in my mailbox this afternoon. The insurance company for the Moving Company that moved my stuff to Ottawa has approved my claim for reimbursement of the costs associated with the Scooter Repairs required as my Scooter seat was damaged in the move and had to be completely replaced. I should receive $245 soon which I plan to use to pay for my Divorce. The Univerce is helping out a little bit with this task that needs to be done once and for all. Well I wonder if I'll hear from the woman about making a time for us to meet up downtown. I sure hope so as I'd really like to see how if we are compatible and interested in working on building a friendship. Maybe tomorrow I know a little bit more. I hope so......