June 12/15 Love is a splendid thing - So very Amaszing

Wow I've been struggling with old deamons this past week. I know I love my girl but all my past habits and fears are trying to fight me and take over my actions. I have become insecure in trusting what Deb says and doesn't say. The constant reasurances my Ego demands of me are rough to fight off. But I am using every tool I have learned to keep centred and not let my emotions plow me down. Many times I have wanted to confront her and demand answers this week. I know she is not yet ready to reveal to me her thoughts smf and feeliings because she does not yet know that they truly are. She won't say she loves me just because I say I love her. She wants to tell me this once she truly knows herself first. But after last nights talk and her confirming that she is coming to spend the night with me here I have let some of these behaviours I dread fade away somewhat. Our talking was short as she was exhausted and she needed to relax and prepare for getting to bed. It was a wonderful conversation leaving both of us so wanting to come together and hug and sniggle and of course Kiss and just be with each other. I can not wait to see her and take her into my arms and just hold her tight and close. I know she is feeling the same for me. My love grows every day for this woman. My Soul is soothed when I am with her. We are going to plan a few things we would like to do together in and around the City beginning of Course casually sauntering downtown through the Market. The place we were originally going the meet one an another but I just couldn't do it. So much to look forward to. AM IN LOVE AND IT'S A WONDERFUL FEELING AND I LIKE THIS ALOT AND THEN SOME.