The Saga continues -painfully so

Well more craziness happening with me and the day-to-day life I've been living in. My wonderful loving American friend, a girl friend not girlfriend, and I spent another whole bunch of hours talking last nite. We both knew she was exhausted and we both decided we would not talk late but of course once we got into things time really was not existing for us at all. This is the same pattern that's been happening more and more frequently and she is totally completely exhaused. It's interfering alot with her daily life and nights. I am ok but I don't really have much of a life outside of my apartment. I don't seem to wake much before 10 or 11am  so I am getting the rest I need. She has a very young schoolage son and starts her day very early with him and runs all day dealing with many things most importantly her dying mother. Late last night as we tryed endlessly to end our connection we finally decided that sonething drastic needed and must be done. Well, I was on a very fantastic high (a natural high) and was feeling strong and confident and very self assured from our union and forced the issue of how to deal with this growing addiction to each other. The need to confide everything to and with each other. My deepening feelings of love for her and her deepening need for a real and true friend. We talked about these things and the potential dangers. We talked about maybe trying to set some kind of schedule up. Finally I put it out to her that maybe she might really need a whole week of us not communicating. She finally had to yes that really what she needed. When were finally disconnected I sat quietly for awhile and while in deep reflection I knew it was the right thing to do and reread most of all of what we wrote. Felt all the emotions run through me, all the feelings, all the joys and pleasures experienced over the last several hours. I was calm, somewhat satiated and proud of myself for this strength of will I had expressed. I toddled of to be, played some much needed solitaire fell into a nice sleep and was suddenly woken up by my incescent phone loudly ringing in another room. It was my mom wanting to update me on my Dad. Still in horrible state in Hospital but things are proceding and he is a bit better. That's relief. I caught myself automatically logging on to see what nice msg's my friend might have sent me. Oh. damn this was stopped last night. Shit. Phone rang again and was tecnical support and they informed me my computed is totally fucked up and heading for yet another Hard Drive crash & burn. I freaked, I started to cry. I can't go through this again. Just lost the first drive about 6 months ago and lost everything. I'm panicing and needing help but who. How. Why is this happening to me. Stop Deana, don't let it bring you done. Deal with it. Get a plan of attack in place. Keep trying, keep reaching out and things will come together. Keep your faith deana. You've servived many things deana. This is just another. It's not the end of your world. Keep faith that you will not loose this lifeline and you will not loose you friend deana. The days will pass, slowly maybe, but they WILL and  you will be OK. You don't need to receive love form others right now, you just to keep ahold of the love you've worked so hard on. Remember, it's the love you have for yourself deana. Allow yourself to believe this, to soak in this love and trust it to keep you safe while you try to navigate through it all.....I LOVE YOU AND YOU DAMN WELL KNOW THIS.................