May 2/13 GLORIOUS DAY

Finally, travelled outside on scooter in shortsl, Tshirt, sockets and sunglassesl. My kind weather without any doubts. My favorite time of the whole year. The trees are starting to bring out their leaves, No bugs flying around, the muckey mud smells and masive puddles are all drying up. No Humidity to hinder my MS. Got my hair cut and started the tanning process. Im so very happy today. We've all waited a very long time for this weather land it is finally herel. Tomorrow I skype with my friend and have hopes that together we can work things out and set some kind of schedule to ensure out friendship remains healthy and beneficial for both of us. I so hope we can and think we will be able to since I've gotten so much better with not needing her undivided attention like I so craved before. So my spirits are right up there with regard to that area of my life. I still love her to some degree but that need or want is slowlyl, ever so slowly, disipating for me which is good for the both of us. Last night I posted a graditude list of what I was grateful for yesterday and it really made happy too. I think I will do that everyl night from now on and end my blogs with that. I'll update todays blog later tonight since the day is only half over right now...so stay tuned.... Well, just skyped with my American friend a little while and we both enjoyed reconnecting after a weeks silence. We talked alot, we clarified some stuff that had upset each of us. She felt safe enough with me to tell me something I knew would happen eventually. Although somewhat sad I truely feel it will help both of us and our friendship alot. She finally allowed herself to go to a place that she had sworn she would not go while still married. She connected with a woman she likes and who likes her in return. If there was any lingering doubts about her sexluality there is no longer any doubt. Really, I'm very happy for her but I'd be a liar if tried to convince myself that I don't feel for her. I'll probably always have deep feelings and I guess these feelings can really be equated to those of a first true love for in fact She was my first real love. Unconventional love but love never the less. I know I'll always love her at some level but I have also slowly bagan to accept that it could never be realizedl. The Universe has plans for all of us I believe and I was brought into her path to learn what love is and can be. I just now have to learn to trust the universe to bring me into the path of someone else that will allow me to reveal who I truely am and allow lme to love unconditionally both myself and whom ever I'm supposed to be with.....Keep your faith deana and let the world unfold before you. I've met Chris, I've embarked on the spiritual journey I've looked for all my life must continue to be grateful for whatever comes my way....The future for me will reveal itself to when I just keep out of my own way and let it happen.....I like this way of being and am getting more and more confortable with it.....