Aug.04/13 Still lost and Unable to Shake this feeling

Well today is Sunday and my feelings of being lost are still with me. Even though its a beautiful day I am unable to enjoy it very much. I don't have my friend to discuss this with and I'm pretty sure she wouldn't know how to lift my spirits anyways. I was really looking forward to watching my CSL service this morning hoping that that would be of some help but the service did not come up in any listening or seeing way. There must have been problems with the Streaming services. I only hope that maybe later today I'll be able to watch/see a copy of it but I'm not really holding out much hope. I did receive a little miracle in that I got my long lost shoulder bag with my Diabetic pouch still inside it. My cell phone was not there but I'd cut it's service off a long time ago. I watched a lot of the stuff my middle daughter sent me and found some enjoyment from those shows. I am really in a funk today but I am trying to lose myself in the TV programs that are on..

It is now past 6pm and the funk has not lifted. I FB talked with one of my new friends from the CSL group in Toronto and she was unaware of any problems so looked into it for me. Nothing can be done about it so I'll just have to wait until next Sunday and hope whatever the problems of today are fixedl by then. I won't be able to talk with my friend until the middle of the coming week so just have to suck that disappointment up and hope my desire and ability to meditate come back to me. Time, I guess, will tell. I guess I'm a little disappointed that after helping her through some pretty rough times in the past that she can't take the time to try and help me through my rough time. It hurts and it saddens me a little bit too much. I am grateful for contact with my CSL friend and am looking forward to maybe a little chat time with my daughter who is leaving for Banff tomorrow...I'm just so fucking lonely and feeling to sorry for myself....Hoping tomorrow things will be different....I just have to wait and see what the Universe brings before me then.....