Kris
I was thinking for a bit the other day about the very short
period of time when we did see each other as good friends without too many
issues getting in the way. It was because of that time that I wanted to send
you a note. I want to wish both you and Jack the merriest Christmas and new
year. I saw someone post the little Red Elf that was so intriguing to me and it’s
tradition of hiding places. I assume that once again you are doing that and
that both of you enjoy the fun of it all. I do hope you are well Kris and are
continuing to improve and are pretty much healed by now living the very normal
busy life once again. Unfortunately I have not been too good and have lost the
mobility of my body but am getting by using my walker all the time now.
I’m just going to give a brief update on what is happening up here for me. I spent a week in Ottawa at
Kelsey’s lovely HUGE home. Her 6 month old puppy Ben is a very gentle lovely
beast. He is well on his way to becoming about 130lb by the time he’s fully
grown. I was unable to look for an apartment while there but Kelsey and my most
wonderful friend Charlotte will find one together in January. Which of course
will be interesting moving to a new home site unseen. All my faith is with them
and trust it will be fine. All the
Lawyer papers have now been signed regarding Kelsey becoming my POA so she will
be able now to write the cheques needed to secure a place for me. I just sure
am hoping that things don’t continue to worsen physically for me and I can stay
clear of having to move to a retirement home. This of course will happen
eventually but I really want another few years of my hard fought independence.
Only time will tell what the Universe has planned for me. Paul is very
concerned and angry of what Kelsey being my POA will entail and has made this
very clear to me that he will fight me on this if he feels it’s too much for
her. We unfortunately has a very large
and vocal fight in front of Kelsey and Bryan. A lot of tears and anguish over this for each
of us. Some days life just sucks everything out of me especially when I was
feeling very isolated and just the periodic Mom interrupting their wonderful
lives with their Dad. It’s very strange and discouraging for me and of course
very sad and unnerving. I’ve felt this before but never as intensely as the
week back home. I hope things will
change once I’ve moved back home. I have to find a way to make the changes work
as I can’t imagine what life will be like without my kids being around or at
least near me!
The apartment here is slowly getting packed up so I’ll be
ready to book the moving company as soon as I hear I have an address to move
to. I’m not discouraged and I just know things will work out as they are meant
to. My strength comes from my Spirituality totally.
So, I guess that sums things up for me. I want you to know I
have forgiven you and hope that someday you can forgive me Kris. Releasing
ourselves from the burdens of anger and judgements towards each other is
something that I know is good. Someday we may even be able to periodically chat
but I have no expectations of this as I’m sure you don’t either. I will always
remember who you are and what you once meant to me Kris and for that I am very
grateful. There once was a need for our paths to cross as they did. That need
was well surpassed for both of us. Life is good, difficult at times but still
good with so much to still pass by both of us. Be safe, be happy and take the
time to just stop, breath deeply and acknowledge all that is good and wonderful
in life. Every day now I take that time
to feel the gratitude I need to feel for all that is around me and all that I
have.
Have a wonderful 2015 and may all the best come your way for a
great year ahead. You will always hold a special place in my heart and soul Kris.
Love always Deana
I do hope Im not repeating myself, but my comment isnt here. I just wanted to say that I am following your blog, you have an interesting life and are very open about it.
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