On Going Journal from December 1st onward

Finally got my Eldest daughter all set legally to be my POA along with my Brother. Slowly things will shift to her from Glen. All the legal papers are signed. This will be a fluid transfer to my daughter over time. I want her to learn everything from my brother and someday She will have sole responsibility over my life. This is a very daunting thing for her to take on. I am grateful to her for doing this for me but it  also very much saddens me that this is necessary as I need so  much help and I am totally unable to be responsible for a lot about myself. At times this really takes me down emotionally and I weep often. I am not scared as I have complete faith in her capabilities but I hate having her burdened this way. This is how I've felt since the very beginning when my Father stepped in and took control of my life at it's worse. Then over to my brother from my Dad which he's totally and completely got everything organized both financially and every other aspect of my life. Now the slow transition to my Daughter. This all began more than 15 years ago in my early 40's. Now I'm 55 and although for the most part living independently with help. The last year has been very difficult but my family has been there for me so much. I realize that I am a very lucky person to have all this support. Many people don't but I do. I'm beyond grateful and do all that I can to help them. It is never easy for all of us but it's necessary for me to have the good life that I do have.


A good day yesterday. Suitcase is packed no thanks to Glen. He kept me on track and pushed me through getting it organized and done. Just a few things will be needed to be done this weekend like laundry of night clothes and incidentals. Today I will shop for required groceries and cigarettes so that will be done leaving me worry free on that point.

My thoughts keep drifting back to Kris and at times pretty heavily kind of weighing me down. It's been OK for the most part. I've held on to my conviction of putting her memories behind and have not tried to contact her. The longest  I've not tried in almost 4 years. I know once all is said and done with my move home I'll send her a msg telling her I've forgiven her and hope see some day that she will forgive me as well. I won't ask her to return the contact nor that I want or expect anything but I do want her to know that my life has moved on to bigger and better things. I just need to see once I've settled into my new life if I will do this.

Thursday morning and just talked with my Daughter. She is boarding her plane from Edmonton back to Ottawa. She had a fabulous 2 weeks getting the new store ready for the big opening tomorrow. She will just have to wait and see when the new store opens in Ottawa and if she gets the Store Manager's job. I hope she does as I know she will be so good at it. This is a huge goal for her and she certainly has proven herself many times over to the most senior company managers. Fingers crossed!!!

Friday already just 3 more sleeps until I board the bus for home. My son is swamped with Exam time so I won't be in communication with him. He just told me He'll spend next Wednesday with me at Kelsey's house. I can't wait to hug the big guy. He is such a gentle giant and a very kind compassionate young man. So much like his dad!!

The apple hasn't fallen from the tree, it's securely nestled in the tree. Kelsey kept me in the look by sending me pictures and they giving me Skype tour of all the work she and her dad did today decorating her home for Christmas. She is having a big party tomorrow night with all her many friends. She and her Dad painted several of her windows in the Dr.S's The Grinch Stole Christmas. A Childhood favourite of all the kids and their friends. She is so damned excited with it all and so am I. I can not wait until Monday night to see it all for myself. Quin was there today after his classes and staying there tonight as he has an exam first thing tomorrow morning. Tobie has expressed her excitement by saying she can`t wait to get home to see it all but she won`t make it back home until around Dec.15th or so. I`ll be gone by then.

I can't help myself! I had to put these in here to remember this very special night for my Daughter, Her Dad, Brother and Bryan. They are all so wonderful to each other and love each other  totally unconditionally. A Mothers dream. I am blessed to have all of them in my life and am so grateful for this. I am a lucky, very lucky, person to have so many blessings!!